Emotions
by SpeedBump
Summary: kay...'nother L/M fic from me...Luke and Mara on Yavin...what could go wrong? what could go right? oh dear...:)


So, being slightly superstitious, I can no longer allow myself to stay with 13 fanfictions....to rectify the situation....I decided to write another one...:) I fancied another go at Luke and Mara, and if you can't tell by my suddenly British expressions, I just finished the Fifth HP book in like....14 hrs...and now I've loaned it out...so I really have nothing to do...:) doesn't that make you feel good?...I only do this because nothing better is going on...:):):):):)   
  
Enough disparaging remarks!...Let us commence with the badly spelled fanfiction featuring characters I do not own...no matter how badly I manage to mangle their names...:):):) (I am completely unrepentant about my bad spelling:))  
  
Luke sat alone in a room, his back straight, his legs crossed, his eyes closed, his mind whirring away, mere inches from enlightenment. Luke gave a mental sigh. 'If only', he wished silently, 'that fly would stop buzzing'. The hot Yavin sun shone down on his back, heating his shoulders. Luke itched to move. His neck had begun to burn, and speaking of itches, his nose ached to be scratched. Berrying his irritations, Luke sighed and picked up his heartbeat again. He counted the slow, languid pulse and let his mind slowly relax, empty itself of emotions, simply be. As he did so his sense stretched out, out of the room, out of the wing, out of the building, and over the planet. Luke relaxed deeper into the Force and began to take a deep, steadying breath.   
  
His eyes snapped open as a jolt rocked through his sense. Only one person produced that kind of reaction.  
  
"Damn it." He whispered. It would appear, he reflected, that the universe was never going to let him attain that inner peace he searched for. Perhaps he was never meant to have it.   
  
Tionne watched Master Skywalker step forward to the shuttle landing pad. She could sense the outward calm that radiated out from him, masking a deeper turmoil. Tionne frowned. Whoever was visiting obviously could not be good for the calm and relaxation of said Master. Excitement had no place in the life of A Jedi Master, at least, by Tionne's reckoning. The ship touched down and moments later the walkway lowered itself. After a brief minuet of anticipation a woman in a dark jumpsuit strode down the ramp, bag in hand. The Jedi Master was suddenly very guarded as he smiled and approached her.   
  
"Mara! You interrupted my meditation session." The woman flicked a lock of red-gold hair behind her ears and smiled thinly.   
  
"You weren't getting anywhere anyway, and it's good to see you too." Her sarcasm was as unperturbable as ever, Luke noticed. She looked a little worn out, Luke decided, but other than that, it was the same old Mara. 'The same one?' His consciounce questioned somewhere 'The same one that makes you want to love her at the same time she makes you want to tear your hair out?' He grinned and moved to take her bag.   
  
"To what do I owe the honor of this visit?" Mara surrendered her bag easily, making sure their hands did not touch.   
  
Luke looked good, Mara thought gaurdedly. Apparently this Jedi lifestyle suited his body, but Mara had a pretty good feeling that somewhere deep down inside of him there was a fighter pilot that didn't like this boring life at all, and from the brief contact she had made before she started her landing sequence, he wasn't going quietly. She shook herself from her reveire as bright blue eyes questioned hers.   
  
"Sorry, ah-" She paused, unable to remember the question she'd been asked. Once she had had an excellent memory, not to mention the ability to think and carry on a conversation while doing it. "Yes, I've come to train for a bit." Luke smiled.  
  
"How long is a bit, because so help me Jade, if it's anything less than a month, I'm going to have a fit." Mara blinked and something crossed her face and she replied calmly,  
  
"Fine, a month." Luke swore inwardly. The battle had begun.   
  
The next morning Mara awakened in her room at some ungodly hour to the beating of a fist on the door. (Awaken, my trainee. For we have many things to do, this fine, summer's morn.) Mara thought of every foul curse she could find and flung it at the door. Luke chuckled on the other side. (Come now, Jade. Anger is the way of the Dark Side.) Mara stuck her head back out of the fresher door and glared at him. Luke could feel it through the wood. (If I haven't turned by now, I really don't think I'm gonna. And it's not anger, it's frustration.)   
  
In a few minuets, Mara was dressed and stepped out of the door to find Luke grinning at her from across the hall where he'd been resting. She scrubbed her hand across her eyes and yawned.   
  
"So what're we doing today?" Luke smiled.   
  
"I thought we could go do a little hiking in the forest and then maybe some lightsaber practice." 'And spend some time alone, eh?' Luke's little voice added on unhelpfully. Mara blinked at him blearily.   
  
"Is the sun even up yet?" Luke smiled.   
  
"Come on, we'll be back in time for breakfast if we hurry."   
  
And so they set off into the forest in the gray, lonely pre-dawn glow of Yavin, walking side by side. They made their way towards a small waterfall Luke knew of, the dark shadows and branches leaning out at them in the gloom. A peaceful silence fell between them as they continued on their way. Finally, after pushing through one last vine tangled bush, Luke stopped to survey the pool. It was one of his favorite spots and he had not told anyone about it before. He turned around to find Mara and found the quiet beauty mirrored in her eyes. He allowed himself and the voice a moment to simply observe Mara as she looked around. Her light green eyes glinted as she glanced towards the water spilling over the rocks at the base of the waterfall. The dim lighting made her hair appear pale, and he watched as a freed strand slowly crept down past her ear to gently rest against her jaw bone.   
  
"Pretty nice." Her eyes turned to his and he read surprise in her sense and that was quickly guarded. Luke wasn't sure, but he thought a slight flush ran over her cheeks before she retained control. She raised one of her eyebrows and her eyes sparked at him. "Skywalker?" Luke blinked.  
  
"Yes?" Her eyes narrowed.  
  
"If you keep staring, I'm gonna toss you in the lake." Luke's eyes widened in a moment of panic. Then he stepped back and brought his lightsaber up.   
  
"Well then one of us shall get wet." Mara's annoyance flashed, but she brought her lightsaber up all the same.   
  
"fine." She bit out. Luke smiled to himself and struck.  
  
One wearying battle later, and Mara found herself uncerimoniously dumped in the lake. She yelped as she went in, and Luke's laughter was already ringing in her mind's ear. She swore to herself. No matter, she'd get him just the same. Shutting down her mind and her barriers, she allowed herself to float to the surface, lifeless in appearance. She felt a sudden surge of fear from Luke and a sharp mental prod as he took stock of the situation. There was a cautious hand on her back and Luke's voice said, "Mara?" Mara grinned evilly below the surface. Luke prodded her again, his sense shaking and afraid.   
  
Mara moved so quickly that Luke's reflexes and balance were worth absolutely nothing. Rolling in the water she grabbed his arm and pushed off hard from the side of the pool where her feet had come to rest. Luke shouted as he was dragged into the water up to his chest. He thrashed wildly for a moment, before his feet found the bottom, and his eyes found Mara Jade who was staring at him from the other side of the pond, arms crossed defiantly. She felt relief seep back into his sense, followed quickly by anger. Mara squirted water at him from the safety of the other side of the pool as Luke surveyed her wetly. His anger slowly faded and was replaced by simple relief. He was about to turn when Mara reached down and squirted water at him again, her eyes narrowed and unreadable. Luke raised his eyebrows and turned back towards shore. Mara sent a small shove at him through the force.   
  
"What's the matter?" Luke sighed and turned. He surveyed her where she stood now, shoulder deep in the pool, her hair floating beside her. He sighed again. She was going to have too much fun with this.  
  
"I can't swim." As predicted Mara broke into laughter.  
  
"Are you serious? I've had the least normal childhood of anyone I know, and I can swim." Luke shrugged, a little put off.   
  
"You do realize what planet I come from?" Mara rolled her eyes and bracing her arms, lifted herself out of the pool. Luke found himself staring at the cloth that clung to her skin-tight. He jerked his eyes away and his precarious shields gave a frightening lurch. He turned.   
  
"Maybe I'll learn someday, but right now, we have other lessons to be attending to." He heard Mara's snort, but chose to ignore it. He turned and picked his way down a narrow path at the side of the falls. He soon disappeared between tall grasses and brush. He felt Mara's impatience as she hurried to follow him. The path turned and twisted sharply as it made it's way up the mountainside. Luke broke into a run, heedless of Mara far behind him.   
  
Luke was sitting expectantly on the edge of the cliff, swinging his feet when Mara came jogging up, breath pounding in her throat. She skidded to a halt and slumped over, hands on her knees. Luke glanced over at her.   
  
"Damn, Skywalker." Luke smiled.  
  
"Jedi train both body and mind, Mara." Mara glared at him from under her brow.   
  
"Are you trying to tell me I'm out of shape?" Luke smiled serenely.  
  
"No, simply unfocused." Mara straightened and pulled her soaked outer shirt off. Luke once again slammed up his barriers as he turned his eyes away. Mara blinked at him. That was the second time he'd reacted strongly to something. A frown creased her brow and she looked down. To find her under shirt she was wearing stuck to her like a second skin. She gritted her teeth and forced back embarrassment. There was nothing she could do now. She laid the outer shirt out on a nearby bush, pulled her hair loose and over her shoulders so it would dry. Stepping out of her boots she came to sit beside him on the ledge, swinging her bare feet. Luke felt a stab of emotion, but he ignored it.   
  
He had meant to continue the force lessons up here with stones and levitation exercises, but he found himself unwilling to break the peaceful silence that had fallen. Mara gazed absently down at the floor of the valley that opened out under the cliff. In the distance, a bright red sun was rising. They sat in silence as the sun gradually rose, each mind whirring in its own directions.   
  
Mara was thinking about how Luke had looked at her just a few minuets ago. He couldn't possibly be attracted to her, could he? Cold fire spread through her chest as she remembered his sudden flash of fear when she pretended to be dead. Could he seriously? Mara didn't know what to think. She lightly stretched out, but his shields were very good and upon being noticed she quickly withdrew. Luke glanced at her. Mara blinked and absently tossed a pebble over the edge of the cliff. The sun had begun to warm her hair and she leaned back. She laid there, eyes closed, hair spread around her shoulders, the warmth of the sun heating her bare shoulders. She felt his gaze and the uneasy question niggled her insides.  
  
"So, Skywalker. We gonna sit here all day, or did you have some more "exercises" for me?" There was a gentle thud to her right and Luke fell down next to her.   
  
"Well." He cracked an eye open. "I was gonna, but we were both wet, it was a beautiful sunrise, and I was tired." Mara smiled in spite of herself.  
  
"Jedi train both body and mind, eh?" Luke smiled.  
  
"Shut up. I'm old." Mara squinted at him suddenly sobered. They were not young anymore, she and him. She studied him. There were lines on his forehead, wrinkles around his eyes, and his hair was beginning to thin. He had also accumulated an unhealthy number of scars and faded pock marks from old wounds. As had she, Mara reminded herself. They definatly were not young anymore, or so it seemed.  
  
"I'm not exactly as spry as I used to be, as you were kind enough to point out." She added darkly. Luke smiled.   
  
"That's okay. I perfer this Mara," He paused and Mara's breath caught. She wasn't sure he was going to continue, but after a pause he smiled and his eyes were distant in memory. "to the one that wanted to kill me." Mara made a face.   
  
"I still want to kill you. Quite frequently, in fact." Luke tossed a pebble at her. Mara shoved it away with the force and Luke grinned.   
  
"You have so much power, Mara. D'you realize that?" Mara sighed.   
  
"Yes, I do. Mostly, because you keep telling m-" Luke cut her off.   
  
"No." He sat up and sighed. "I think it's time I told you." Mara frowned. Why did Skywalker have to be so dern dramatic? "You carry a presence in the force, the weight and depth of which you yourself are unaware of." Mara frowned, and Luke continued. "you shut yourself off from the force so effectively after the Emperor-" He trailed off. "Maybe even during-" He glanced at her quickly and away again. "There's a vast unconscious reservoir you have, Mara, and I think that's a large reason you never went to the Dark Side. It unconsciously guided your actions and thoughts." Mara frowned, digesting this new information about herself. Luke smiled sardonically. "And so, you the Emperor's assassin beat me, the bringer of light, to true understanding and comprehension of the force." Mara sat up.  
  
"What do you mean." Her voice was flat. Luke sighed and rubbed his hands over his eyes.  
  
"I mean that I spent most of my life learning the discipline and skills. You spent most of your life practicing the theory of the force." Mara opened her mouth to protest that she had done no such thing consciously. 'But isn't that his point?' She wondered.   
  
"Why didn't you tell me before?" She frowned  
  
Luke shook his head. He turned towards her, bringing his legs up into a sitting position. He held out his hands, wrists bared.  
  
"I'll show you the type of talent we're talking about." Mara frowned, but sat up and lightly took his hands. She glanced at him before she closed her eyes and found him staring at her with an odd expression in his eyes. Mara suppressed a shiver and followed Luke's presence. He led her behind her shields into the dark recesses of her mind, places where she dared not go. Nightmarish memories lurked on either side, but Luke threaded his path skillfully, as though he'd been there before. Mara forced herself not to look into the memories that lunged at them, and then Luke halted. Mara frowned and looked over his presence and felt the breath catch in her throat. Just before them a malestorm of power whizzed by.   
  
Left untapped for years, it was not a calm deep river of power like Luke's. It was a churning funnel cloud of emotions, like a giant cyclone in the back of her mind. Suddenly it was like the world came into focus. The power she had long denied came surging to the foreground. She could feel the living earth around her in a depth and complexity she had never experienced. The trees, the birds, the unidentified animal life, she could feel it, all of it. She felt the pulse of the earth beneath her and she was strong, alive, and young.   
  
Taking a deep breath, she blinked and found herself several feet away from Luke, pressed against the rock behind her. The world was suddenly living, and she found she was not quite prepared for it all. Luke opened his eyes and met Mara's green penetrating gaze.  
  
"you see what I mean." Luke said dryly. "you have control over a limited amount of that raging mess, and until you made the commitment to harness that power, any awareness at all would have been dangerous for yourself and others around you." Mara suddenly found it hard to meet Luke's eyes. All those times he had bothered her, bugged her, nagged her about training, she thought he was just being annoying. She bit her lip. She had not reacted graciously to Luke's concern. Graciously was too strong a word, she decided. She had flat out rejected him time after time, never once believing it was a simple interest in her own well-being Luke was driven by. Shame flooded her. Luke smiled gently.   
  
"I'm not entirely blameless. We're both too stubborn for our own good." Mara glared at him and slammed her shields up. Luke rolled his eyes and stood. He reached out his hand and Mara allowed him to pull her to her feet. His hand lingered, Mara noticed, a moment too long. She opened her mouth, biting sarcasm at the ready, but Luke's quiet blue eyes were very near her own and as their gazes met a moment, something in them made her close her mouth with a gentle click. Luke's mouth quirked, but he said nothing and a second later he stepped away from her and moved down the path. Mara took a deep breath, surprised to notice that she had stopped breathing. Frowning to herself she set out after the silent Jedi.  
  
The trip back neither one was in the mood to speak. Luke's mind, as far as Mara could tell, was tied up into an itty-bitty knot behind shields a lightsaber couldn't cut through. Not that hers wasn't s well. She was contemplating her relationship with Luke. He had quite possibly been the best friend she'd had in her life the past 8 years. They hadn't seen much of each other, and they had a tendency to argue, but he was there for her in the personal way that Karrade's organization had been there for her professionally. They always picked their relationship back up where it left off, with ease and familiarity of old friends. They weren't close in many ways, but in ones that seemed to matter, they were. The bond. Mara sighed inwardly. As much as she hated to admit it, they did share a bond. Mara blamed it on all the Skywalker-butt-saving missions she was forced to engage in. It wasn't terribly strong, but it did give each other an edge of awareness into their respective minds, which made her terribly useful in the event Skywalker's butt needed saving. Mara's mind whirled on and the trees gradually began to thin.  
  
"There." Luke said. Mara looked up at him, startled. Luke smiled, sweat trickling down his face. "I told you we'd be back in time for breakfast, and we are." Mara felt a stab of something as she looked into his reddened face, but she just nodded and followed him towards the bustling school.   
  
Two weeks later Mara Jade awoke in a sweat. It wasn't common, but it had happened before. Another dream about Vader. He had always freaked her out. Mara gritted her teeth and flipped over, dragging the wrinkled sheets up around her again. She lay staring at the ceiling. It was hot. Much too hot to try to sleep. Mara felt a light presence, and then it was gone. She snorted. Skywalker. She screwed up her eyes with indecision, and finally she sighed in defeat. Stripping back the bed covers Mara pulled on a robe and slipped out of her quarters to go padding barefoot down the hall. Senses alert, she wound her way towards the deserted side of the dormitories, where Luke's rooms were. Mara wrinkled her nose at what Tionne would think if she caught Mara Jade half dressed in the middle of the night, her hair unbound and barefooted on her way to the Jedi Master's quarters. With luck, her old schooling, and her newly heightened senses, that should not be a problem. Mara paused as she approached Luke's quarters. His door was open and cool night air was curling through it. A moment of indecision halted her step, but she steeled herself and pushed his door open and slipped in.   
  
There was soft music playing and Mara cringed. Part of her wanted to flee this intimate environment, but the other part goaded her onwards. She had never been one to flee, and with that thought in mind she followed the fresh air to the back of the apartment where a small set of stair greeted her. Making her way up the stairs she found herself on the roof of the academy. She took a moment to appreciate the view and the cool breeze that flickered across her flushed face. A figure at the rail caught her eye and Mara suddenly was sure she was not welcome. She turned to go, but a flash of movement caught her eye and she knew she was too late.  
  
"Well Miss Jade." There was a weary sort of amusement in his tone that weighed on Mara's soul. She turned and crossed her arms, all her cat-footed ease disappearing down the drain. Her chin came up.   
  
"It's too damn hot to sleep, you were awake, I'm awake, so I came to see you." Luke smiled inwardly.  
  
"By all means." He turned back around and felt Mara's defenses recede a bit and she hesitantly made her way to the wall of the roof by his side. Luke relaxed a little and glanced at her. Her hair was down and it fluttered around her shoulders. Luke found himself wanting to reach out and touch it, but he mentally rebuked himself. He had no illusions that Mara didn't have inklings about his feelings, but he didn't particularly like having his fingers broken or severely twisted. Luke smiled to himself. That would be particularly hard to explain to Tionne, and once Tionne got it in her head to harass Mara, Tionne was toast. Luke rubbed his mouth, hiding a grin. It unfortunately did not go unnoticed.  
  
"What's so funny?" Luke smiled.   
  
"You'd kill me." Mara eyed him darkly.  
  
"We've already surmounted that obstacle." Luke grinned.   
  
"I was imagining how Tionne would fare against you." Mara snorted.   
  
"Please. I am not a wild animal. It's been years since I attacked anyone and that was not a casual circumstance." Luke smiled.   
  
"I know. But with your background the possibilities are endless." Mara rolled her eyes and muttered something that suspiciously sounded like "men." Luke continued. "When we were bored at dignitary parties, Han and I'd pick a woman and try to imagine her fighting you." Mara's very direct gaze snapped to his face.  
  
"I didn't realize I was such...entertainment." Her voice was soft and dangerous. Luke grinned and he could physically feel her eyes narrowing.  
  
"Oh don't get huffy. We were bored, and you really have nothing to worry about, you won all the time." He felt a tinge of humor color her sense and he shook his head inwardly. Mara Jade, laughing at herself. Would wonders never cease?  
  
"Well I guess that's not so bad." Her voice was sarcastic, but Luke was adept at reading the undertones and he caught the swirling subtleties That was the place Mara put all her meaning. It wasn't what she said, it was how she said it. Luke smiled at the thought that he spoke fluent Jadeish.   
  
He glanced at her and found her for once unguarded. Her face was relaxed as she looked around the grounds below, and her hair falling softly around her shoulders made her look young and carefree. Luke realized that he had drifted closer to her. The part of him that was not engaged in memorizing Mara's every movement and feature began sending out the alarms, but it was too late. Mara Jade, feeling his movement, turned her head to see what he was doing, and Luke Skywalker bent forwards and captured her lips in the sweetest, gentlest kiss Yavin had ever seen.   
  
(A/N: Hi! Yes, could you just spread those tension bubbles right around here?...yeah just fill it to the top.....:):):))  
  
In the days to come whenever Luke examined his puffy eye in the mirror he recalled the memory of the kiss and was proud. It was a good kiss, and well worth the price that had been exacted swiftly upon his visage after a few speechless minuets where Mara stared at him, shocked, (but not, Luke reminded himself, until after he'd pulled away. And her eyes had been closed. He was sure of it.) He really should've ducked, it wasn't like he hadn't seen it coming. But he reflected the next morning, it probably made Mara feel better, and it certainly made a better story to tell Han.   
  
It made a stir around the Academy. By the time Tionne was through questioning him about how he managed to black his own eye, Luke was tempted to tell her the truth just to see Mara take her down.   
  
Mara, for her part, managed to avoided him both mentally and physically for the next two days. She was badly shaken and since the 'incident' she was having problems sleeping. A certain blond-headed Jedi kept worming his way into her thoughts. Mara sighed and rolled out of her bed tiredly. She opened her window and stared out at the jungle. For the first time in two days Mara allowed herself to examine her reaction. She'd reacted harshly and quickly, but not until after the kiss had been over. She didn't know why, but the gentle feel of his lips had re-awoken a feeling that had been long dormant in her. It had not allowed her to tear herself away the second Luke made contact. It had held her there, heart hammering in her throat. Mara Jade had known a man's touch before, but those occasions were few, far between, and quickly ended. When Luke had backed away a new feeling of loss had risen, and it had surprised her. She stared at him for long long moments, her insides churning beneath a calm blue gaze, incapable of speech. Something like fury had risen in her that she should find herself in such a state, and with no other means to express it, she hauled off and punched him. She felt ashamed, but he had seen it coming and he certainly was not defenseless. Mara sighed. She could put it off no longer. She must indeed admit that she had some sort of feelings for Luke Skywalker.   
  
She had passed him that morning in the hall, and although she had keep her eyes determinedly focused on the ground in front of her, his gaze had warmed her face, and she realized her heart was in her throat again. She wanted to scream, to rail at him to stop making her feel that way. For two days now she had felt vulnerable, exposed, insecure, and lonely.   
  
Thunder rumbled overhead and big wet drops of rain began to fall. Mara sighed. It was once again too hot to sleep. Making up her mind, she resolutely pulled off her night attire and changed into dark leggings and shirt. She was going to go running in the rain. It was stupid and odd, but she felt stupid and odd, so it fit. Tying her hair in a knot at the back of her head she started off. There was a course around the campus that wasn't too close to the forest to be dangerous that the students used.   
  
A good hour later a very soaked and sweaty Mara Jade collapsed on a convenient boulder, cool rain trickling down her neck. She pushed her sopping hair out of her face and a step behind her sounded. In a second she was on her feet and the intruder was pinned back against the wall of the school in a force grip. Mara clenched her fist. It was Skywalker.   
  
"Nice." Luke said. "You always run in the rain like this?" Mara crossed her arms and slowly let Luke out of her grip.  
  
"You always sneak up on people?" Luke smiled.  
  
"It's not my fault you were too preoccupied to notice me." Mara glared at him.   
  
"What do you want?" Her tone was very very hostile, but underneath it, there was confusion swirling and Luke gritted his teeth. This was not going to be easy.   
  
"We need to talk, you and I." Mara raised her eyebrow and her shields thickened. Why was he making her feel like this? She hadn't felt like blushing for years.  
  
"What if I don't want to?" Luke crossed his arms.   
  
"Then I'll just follow you around and say what I have to say until you listen." Mar a glared at him.  
  
"Fine." She snapped. Luke smiled inwardly.  
  
"Fine." Mara raised her chin and appeared to be waiting. Luke took a deep breath.  
  
"Look, I'm sure by now you know I have feelings for you." Mara felt her stomach drop. She knew, but hearing it confessed was something else entirely. Heat rose in her cheeks, and Luke seemed to be just as startled as she was, because he was groping about, trying to find words. His blue eyes found hers and even through her shields she could feel the depth of his feeling. He was begging. Mara turned away, suddenly unable to control her emotions. Luke's hand on her arm made her flinch, but he did not remove it and Mara felt a strange response within herself. It had been years since she had felt this rising emotion. Luke came closer.   
  
"Who am I kidding. I'm in love with you Mara." He muttered softly and Mara found herself unable to breath. The rain had stopped and she could feel Luke's pleading gaze on her profile. "and I have been for some time now." Mara was stunned beyond words. She huddled there, shoulders hunched, drawn into herself. In love with her? Mara Jade did not fall in love, no one fell in love with her either. Luke turned her to face him and she could feel the vulnerability pulsing from his every pore, but he simply raised her chin.  
  
"Mara." She blinked at him and was ashamed to feel tears pricking at her eyes. Luke smiled a calm slow smile that belied the panic he was experiencing on the inside. And then he bent down and kissed her again, and Mara's world stopped spinning. The strange emotion she had been experiencing of late came tearing out of her and before she could think or stop herself she wrapped her arms around Skywalker's waist and pulled him to her. Luke's hands found the side of her face and any attempt Mara could have made to think or move was burned away by a raging fire that moved upwards from her stomach.   
  
Eventually they parted and Mara found herself unable to meet Skywalker's bright and shinning eyes. She took a deep breath, her mind centered on what she must do. But Luke's arms dropped away and he stepped back.  
  
"Don't run away, Mara." Mara glared at him. Damn him for knowing her so well. And damn her words for failing her in this precarious moment that she needed them so badly. Luke reached out again and took her hands and Mara was afraid that he was going to kiss her again. He smiled. "I'm not foolish enough to expect an open declaration of love." The moonlight glint in his eyes and Mara willed strength into her knees. She said nothing as Luke turned, and together they made their way back to the school, only the dripping of a world newly wet to break the still.   
  
It was then that Mara Jade first found herself craving Luke's touch. When he left her silently at her door, with only a burning kiss to prove it actually happened, her skin where he had been holding her hand felt cold.  
  
The next morning, when she passed him in the hall, he glanced at her and winked, and she could swear she heard laughter ringing faintly in her mind The next moment he was past her and completely absorbed by Tionne and her lecture about rationing of food. And Mara once again felt her heart hammering in her throat and breath was hard to come by.  
  
She found herself covertly watching him in classes. Watching the way his hands moved, how his hair fell, and most of all, his eyes, if she could get away with it. Most of the time she did, but every so often he would catch her and then she would have to work hard on shielding to block out the ringing laughter.   
  
After three days of this odd situation Mara woke in the middle of the night with a hand on her forehead and dark shadow looming over her. She managed to get off a pretty good punch, but the figure moved and a hand stopped her fist. The thumb on her forehead twitched and Mara's sense recognized Luke. She reached out and pulled him against her, digging in to his shoulders for dear life. This last nightmare hadn't been about Vader.   
  
She could hear Luke muttering, but she couldn't tell what he was saying. She was shaking, sweating, and she felt nauseas. There was no way she could tell him what she needed, or why she was clinging to him. There weren't words to describe the horror of her dream. Instead she shoved the feeling at him. He shuddered and she could feel his warmth closing around her. Eventually her panic faded and it was just the two of them alone in the room. Mara loosened her hold first, but Luke quickly got the message and pulled back slightly. Luke kissed her forehead and stood.   
  
"I'll go now." Something snapped in Mara and the emotion that had been crawling around her throat burst out and she grabbed his hand. Luke froze as the weight of the emotion hit him and he turned. Mara couldn't meet his eyes, but he just shrugged and kicked off his boots. "Or, I'll just stay the night here." His voice was nonchalant and amused. She shut her eyes as he carefully crawled over her and slipped under the blankets. Her heart was beating too fast again and her mind was racing. Luke settled down behind her, but refrained from touching her. Mara was glad. She didn't need to deal with anymore tonight. She felt him gradually drop off, but she was awake for a long while yet.   
  
The next morning Mara woke to an unfamiliar feeling of someone else in her bed. He was still asleep, and Mara was thankful. She was cuddled up against his chest , forehead level with his chin, and his legs were intertwined with hers. His hand rested on her hip and Mara felt herself flush a little at the intimate contact. There was no way in hell she had a chance of getting out of bed without him waking, and, Mara decided, that was a confrontation she wanted to avoid. Closing her eyes she allowed herself to snuggle closer to him before drifting off.   
  
The next time she opened here eyes, she was alone in the bed. She scrambled out and dressed hurridly. She was late. In retrospect, Mara thought later, getting out of bed might just have been a mistake. When she entered breakfast, she could feel his eyes on her face, and her stomach began acting strangely again. In lightsaber practice he picked her to spar with, which was not a good idea because that was the best place for her to release her tension. Their friendly sparring session turned into a an all out fight with the other students scrambling to the sides of the gym, staring wide-eyed as Mara and Luke raged across the floor, both too stubborn to give in. It ended in a draw when Tionne happened by and shouted at them for a few good minutes. Luke had smiled at her, and his laughter had rung in her mind, but she had been embarrassed, and she was embarrassed to admit so. It had, however, made her a legend in the eyes of the students, and she was left in reverent silence for the rest of the day.   
  
After dinner she tried to go to bed, but the memory of the nightmare was enough to keep her wide-eyed on her pillow. She used to just stay up all night when a nightmare kept her awake, but now she knew there was comfort, could she keep herself from reaching out for it? A momentary flicker told her her thoughts had not gone unnoticed. Sighing she got her robe again and made the trek to Luke's quarters. Leaning against the door she tried to ascertain his level of consciousness and sprung back quickly as he sleepily recognized her presence and unlocked the door. She hesitantly pushed the door open and slipped inside.   
  
(What's the matter, Jade, afraid of the dark?) Mara flung a curse at him and followed his presence to his bedroom. Luke didn't stir as she dropped her robe and lifted the covers.   
  
(Budge over, Skywalker) Luke grinned against the pillow and one of his hands snaked out to grab her wrist and he tumbled her against him. Mara struggled, but Luke's arms pinned hers to her sides. He grinned at her as he leaned down to kiss her in a long, languid manner, and Mara suddenly lost interest in struggling. She lost interest in sleep too, for that matter. Her hands rested on either side of his waist subtly pulling his closer and the emotion welled out of her again. For half a second she worried that she had brought it into the open, but she felt Luke's reaction to the emotion and once again his warmth surrounded her. Struggle forgotten, Mara's arm twisted around Luke's neck and he was fairly on top of her. Smiling against her mouth Luke met her gaze, inches away, and the challenge in his eyes drew a fervernt answer.  
  
(A/N: Geeze...this is a LONG fic...I leave for a two week trip tomorrow, and I have NOT packed!....it's eaten up my life. I for one, blame Mara...:))  
  
It began, Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade's relationship...or at least the physical part of it. When Mara's month was up she left Yavin and continued on with her business, but investors found they were met with a new force to be reckoned with. Mara Jade rejuvinated and more ball-to-the-wall than she had been before. Love looked good on her, Karrade decided, after finally figuring out what could have changed Mara the way she had. After half a year of secret trysts and extended stays at Yavin, Luke and Mara arrived on Corsecrunt with the express purpose of informing Leia and Han they were engaged.   
  
Leia watched Luke and Mara on the couch. Luke was laughing at Han and the twins. Mara was smiling....wistfully, Leia decided. She would admit that their engagement shocked her, but the more she watched them, the more convinced she became. Luke stretched his arm out on the back of the couch and Mara, after a furtive glance around, did lean the slightest bit towards him. Leia almost smiled. They were probably the most equally matched pair of force-sensitives the New Republic had seen. Which was saying something, Leia reflected. There was no small amount of power between them. And besides that, they looked good together. Mara did not tower, as Callista had done, and she was good-looking in her own right.   
  
They had been a little stiff at first, or rather, Mara had been, but it wasn't like she had never been to dinner with them before and she loosened up. The only hitch was when Han charmed the black eye story out of Luke. She looked a little embarrassed, but she didn't get angry or run screaming from the room, so Leia decided she was getting there. It had to be tough for a woman who had never had a real, loving relationship to comprehend the new facet of the world. She might never be able to say it, or show it to the world, but the Jedi had other methods of making their meanings clear. She was still Mara, though, nothing could change that, Leia smiled as she watched Mara rolling her eyes at Luke. Yes, she decided, they would do well together. The world might not see it, but she did, and she mattered, not the world. All the little hints were there. Leia smiled to herself and went to join them in the living room. Mara's green gaze flicked to hers and she knew her prying had not gone unnoticed, but the other woman was as impassive as ever. Leia smiled and watched the happy bundle of children in the middle of the floor. Han grabbed her hand and she smiled at him, grateful for his simple existance. She glanced once more at Luke and the enigma that sat beside him and noticed her fingers had hooked themselves through Luke's belt loops. It was there, it wasn't screaming at anyone, but it was there.  
  
DONE!...FINALLY!...gaw...that's 7036 words!...:):):) I must go pack... I duno got many good funnies today....but if you made it through all that....:)  
  
Funnies: for my fave, Lindsay Davenport...:( she got knocked out of Wimbledon today, and now she's talking about retirement...:(:(:( she rocks, people!  
  
"Every now and then a woman -- not a girl -- shows up on top of tennis. When it happens, it's usually because she was given the chance to become one." --article 'bout Lindsay..:)  
  
"It is not about pressure," she says. "It's about maybe trying to enjoy it and just trying to stay grounded." --Big D on herself...:)  
  
prolly already used this one:   
  
"While some were shocked at reports that Lindsay once kicked Stevenson's bag across the locker room, Stubbs smiles knowingly. "That totally sounds like Lindsay. She's great, but she doesn't stand for any shit."  
  
kay....that's all I got...and of course...  
  
"The thing I like about our fans is that they're smart, they're good looking, and we can agree to disagree." --Martie 


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